Slug returns to one of his main lyrical skills – storytelling – and narrates a relationship with a girl. She breaks up with him and claims it’s because he’s trying to have sex with her. But, then, she plays him and has sex with his best friend on the first date.
Notice how similar the title of this song is to a previously-recorded Atmosphere track titled “The Number One”, which was released on Sad Clown Bad Summer IX. That song reminisces on the good times of previous childhood relationships, and how there was never any drama. This song here, is titled “The Number None” because it’s about a sour relationship. This girl isn’t “number one” as Slug had described the girls in the other song; this bitch is “number none”.