Hudson Wallace

Inner Monologue Part 1

LYRIC

Verse 1:

I’m feeling lost in the world
Lost in the void I made but can’t destroy
An android caught up in a sick ploy
I’m a sick boy

Trapped in the maze that is my head
Where one wrong turn may leave me dead
They say you can’t die in your dreams
I tried every way it seems
Like I should seek help, but I’m headstrong
I need self-help, a new theme song
Friends say I’m stuck in a box
First time for everything
I should open up, talk
This desire I’m experiencing
For escapism from the schism
For optimism from egotism
Is killing me inside
I can no longer hide
From the turning tide
A ship in the ocean wide
Wandering blind

What do you say when your dream girl
Says you're exhausting
When you begin to see the
Pain you know you’re causing
The truth, who you are unfurls
And it’s now totally dawning
You have brought yourself here
No one else
You have brought your own tears
No one else

You've let it go on
Now you’re frozen
No Disney end here
I’m lost in the world,I’m
Bound to fade away like I’m
Ye at the end
The cost is now swirled I’m
Drowned and made to say that I’m
Fine in the end

Cause talking is hard
Opening up harder
It will take a toll
Bridge to my soul

Break issues amassed
Leave a painful past

(Spoken:)

There’s no need to be worried or afraid, everything you say to me in here is confidential

I can’t help you unless you tell me what’s wrong

I can only help you if you want to be helped

Are you going to say anything at all?

Verse 2:
This is all in your head
You have yet to speak
Tell him you only dread
And see futures bleak

You can’t talk, sign of defeat
Chose to walk, play it upbeat
No through road, Bino tape
Pour it all out on a demo tape

Looking for a friend with a shoulder
Pain is just getting older
And the world colder

See people can only take so much inaction
Until your sadness becomes a detraction
Protraction
Distraction
Fraction of the mind
You have been blind

Negative thoughts go round
What I’d give to surround
Myself with warm light

You know the way forward
So go for it
The path straightforward
So go for it

But something holds you back
A code that you can’t crack
The key is inside you
Like a bad movie ending

Answers are right in front you
Hidden by usual suspects
Plot twist

Still you sit there silent, the clock ticks over
It couldn’t hurt to try right?
Why keep your lips shut tight?

Fidgeting with trepidation
Defeating indignation
Causation is creation

Go on say it
I feel so lonely and lost
Go on say it
My mind is so exhausted

Create a newfound dialogue and
Escape the inner monologue

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About "Inner Monologue Part 1"

Inner Monologue Part 1 was inspired by one of Hudson’s first visits to a psychologist after being diagnosed with depression. The story follows Hudson not speaking whilst the psychologist is trying to assess him, and the inner turmoil he feels.

The song takes inspiration from tracks like ‘Goblin’ by Tyler, The Creator and ‘Past Life’ by Tame Impala.

Inner Monologue Part 1 Track info