The Secret of my Endurance

The Secret of my Endurance

Charles Bukowski

charles bukowski is perhaps best known for writing about his wild exploits during a decade-long alcohol bender. while he (to some degree) moved beyond that stage of his life, this poem serves as a response to fans who relate to it intensely. here, bukowski ruminates on the strangeness of being an icon for dirty, drunken bachelors while now living a somewhat more mature and conventionally desirable life (e.g., “rose garden,” “a beautiful woman,” “two cars”).

at the end of the poem, bukowski reflects on why these folks are still able to relate to him: the boy in the cage represents the childhood trauma that scarred bukowski for life. while he had superficially moved past that dark period in some way, it left a mark on bukowski’s psyche that never faded. he laughs at poets who say his material is getting better, for while bukowski may have gotten somewhat better on a personal level, his most praised writing often involves simply tapping into the trauma that he was given during childhood.

this poem ironically juxtaposes progress as a human and progress as a creator – while u may want to do better and be happier, healthier, etc., it may be unavoidable that ur best work comes from pain u wish u could unfeel. bukowski mocks this as potentially lazy and jokes about the idea of keeping his trauma locked in a cage, constantly keeping it alive for inspiration without letting it overtake his life.