If I had a fine white horse
I'd take you for a ride today
But since I have no fine white horse
Inside I'll have to stay
And empty all the chamber pots
And scrub the floors and such
But from what I've heard of horses
We're not missing all that much

If I had a wooden boat
I'd take you for a sail today
But since I have no wooden boat
Inside I'll have to stay
And catch and kill the mice
And pluck the chickens for the cook
But what could we do on a wooden boat
But sit up straight and look?

And worry our boat will start to drift
And float us out to sea
And land us on an isle of gold
Oh dear, oh dearie me!

If I had a chambermaid
I'd take you out to play today
And hope we didn't end up
In a maze and lose our way
But just sit down and cry
Till Mrs Medlock heard our moans
But we could starve to death by then
Be just two piles of bones

For all I know, a band of elves
Are camped beneath a tree
And oh those elves can bite, you know
Oh dear, oh dear! Oh dearie me!

So the truth is I'm afraid
To take you out the door today
Talking birds and tales of spirits
Keep me scared away
I promised I will never tell
What else is there, although
If in the maze you chance to see
A garden guarded by a tree
And meet a bird who speaks to thee
Then come and tell my fine white horse
And me

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