“Cadie” was the last song I wrote for EP and it didn’t mean anything to me at the time. I just needed this chill acoustic song in that particular moment of the EP.

I wrote it in like few minutes and it’s a one chord song… I guess?
I just wanted to write a story and melody that would fit the concept of EP and I wasn’t thinking much while writing it, BUT THEN after release people were coming to me saying: “Oh "Cadie” is really beautiful… and these lyrics!!“ and I was like "have you heard "Pathetic of You?” ‘cause I still feel like it’s the most lyrical song on the album and it’s a song with the biggest potential that I wasted with my poor production skills…

ANYWAY

People were asking me “Who’s Cadie?!” and I haven’t really had a response to that ‘cause I don’t like songs without meaning and I was too ashamed to admit that I wrote one…

BUT

Right after releasing it some things that happened to me made me realise something and…

I KNOW WHATS THE MEANING OF THIS SONG

AND YOU GOTTA KNOW THAT I CAN’T STAND PEOPLE THAT WOULD WRITE A SONG WITH DUMB LYRICS AND THEN TALK ABOUT IT LIKE IT’S DEEP

B U T H E A R M E O U T

So

At the time of writing it all I was thinking was how much I need to release this EP as soon as possible ‘cause I’ve really struggled with releasing ANYTHING for FIVE long fucking YEARS and I was sooooo frustrated…

The plan for that year was to release that stupid EP and go on a trip to England where (of course) everyone will be stunned by my talent and I’ll get a record deal in a week and I’ll be that successful 19yo boy from eastern Europe with a lot of cash and hit songs…

yeah…

ANYWAY

I read a lot about my favourite songwriters and I do believe in something called “divinely inspiration” (you should google it). It’s something that I think for example Sia is believing in and it’s what the title of the first Lewis Capaldi album is about (I guess…)

The thing is that I’m not a trained songwriter. I’m not even self-taught songwriter. I’m lazy AF and I’m writing a song ‘when the universe is letting me"…?
I need that push or a sparkle to start with, that’s what I mean by divinely inspiration.

And to be clear I’m not trying to act like I’m the “Gods favourite”. I’m just saying that the inspiration comes and goes and it’s some kind of a blessing.

There are different kinds of songs (or songwriters).
Sometimes you write a song knowing what it’s gonna be about and sometimes you write a song and learn it’s meaning when it’s finished, AND SOMETIMES you write a song and you’re not convinced by it, but then something happens and makes you understand it.

You see, now I think “Cadie” was all about something that I was trying to reach before I was ready for it.

Like freedom, dreams, real love and whatever…

I AM CADIE

And alright maybe I didn’t dropped out of school.
I passed my exams and took a gap year ‘cause I never burn the bridges behind. (Maybe because I’m trying to be responsible or maybe 'cause I’m a scared twat…)

Freedom is scary if you lived your whole life in your comfort zone.

I thought I would go there sing some songs, see some places, play my music around, lay on grass reading “Forrest Gump” and don’t give a fuck about anything.

“oh that magic feeling nowhere to go” right?

BUT I DID GIVE A FUCK like ]WHAT AM I GOING TO EAT TODAY?! or WHERE AM I GOING TO SLEEP AT NIGHT so I panicked and came back home like a little bitch I am.

(I got a friend that seems to be cool with that type of life and she’s a real free spirit and my idol.)

I’m a dreamer, but maybe not determined enough.

I wanted to see the world sing my songs and find true love and all of that in a week, but truth is that if you want to do any of those things you need to wait for a right time and when it comes you gotta be a tough motherfucker, otherwise you’re gonna drown in the ocean of your fears and failures.

Freedom is scary.
Failure is scary.
Being in love is scary.

BUT

Don’t you ever let the fear outweigh you or you’re gonna lose time like me or life like Cadie.

And I promise,
I won’t ever again.